David Sedaris quotes
Art quotes search by Author:

Join thousands of others and get the twice-weekly art letter.
Subscription is free.

Absolutely free, no strings. Sign up to the twice-weekly letter and join our art community.

art quotes

David Sedaris Quotes

Quotes by David Sedaris - (17 quotes)

David Sedaris - From the Books category:

-Oasis Magazine, June 2008...
When I taught, a lot of my students weren't big readers, so they would write something and I realized that they thought it belonged in a book. Like, they didn't know what the inside of a book looked like, you know what I mean? (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Creativity category:

A good short story would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the fit. (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Doubt category:

Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit? (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Editing category:

-Oasis Magazine, June 2008...
I tend to write things seven times before I show them to my editor. I write them seven times, then I take them on tour, read them like a dozen times on tour, then go back to the room and rewrite, read and rewrite... I would never show him a first draft, because then he's really going to be sick of it by the twelfth draft. (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Friendship category:

Some friendships are formed by a commonality of interests and ideas: you both love judo or camping or making your own sausage. Other friendships are forged in alliance against a common enemy. (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Gender category:

I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself. Why refer to lady crack pipe or good sir dishrag when these things could never live up to all that their sex implied? (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Guilt category:

My conscience is crosswired with my sweat glands, but there's a short in the system and I break out over things I didn't do, which only makes me look more suspect. (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Importance category:

I'm the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I've never even met. (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Life category:

Every so often my life will feel like a story. It doesn't have to be a big thing; in fact, most often, it's just the opposite. (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Love category:

-When You Are Engulfed in Flames...
Most people would have found it grotesque, but when you're in love nothing is so abstract or horrible that it can't be thought of as cute. (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Pets category:

On my fifth trip to France I limited myself to the words and phrases that people actually use. From the dog owners I learned "Lie down," "Shut up," and "Who shit on this carpet?" (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Religion category:

God was someone I wound up turning over and over in my mind each night... Was He punishing me with this meal or was He rewarding me? Did He actively watch me or take me for granted like a fish you don't notice until it's floating on the surface of the tank? (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Talent category:

-Oasis Magazine, June 2008...
I met a young woman the other day, and she said, what advice would you have for a writer, and I said it would be to work every day... Your job is to write. The rest of it will take care of itself. But, generally, it seems ... you know how that is, you meet people and they have a talent for self-promotion. Those are the pushy people. And you know their writing's not going to be any good, because that's not their talent. (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Thinking category:

This left me alone to solve the coffee problem - a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need caffeine, and in order to make that happen I need to think straight. (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Travel category:

When forced to leave my house for an extended period of time, I take my typewriter with me, and together we endure the wretchedness of passing through the X-ray scanner. The laptops roll merrily down the belt, while I'm instructed to stand aside and open my bag. To me it seems like a normal enough thing to be carrying, but the typewriter's declining popularity arouses suspicion and I wind up eliciting the sort of reaction one might expect when traveling with a cannon. (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Words category:

If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary. (David Sedaris)

David Sedaris - From the Writing category:

Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it. (David Sedaris)